Imagine this: you’re in a relationship, everything is going really well. You’ve just been proposed to, it’s great. Then you find out your partner had you down as his back-up option.
This very thing happened to a Reddit user, who turned to the internet for some advice.
My fiancé “Jake” and I have been together five years, engaged since Christmas. When we met he was really good friends with a girl I’ll call “Bailey.”
She’s older than Jake… sexy, athletic, and completely into all the things Jake is into. He’s not a big birthday/Christmas guy, but he shops early for Bailey every year and gets really excited to give her the gifts he’s chosen. When we discussed a book we both read (I read it in an effort to get more into the things he likes) I offered an opinion and his response was “I’ll have to see what Bailey thinks about that.” Even though we now live a few states away from her, they still have Skype dates… she’s flown to see us just for dinner, stuff like that.
I made an effort to get to know her better early on. To her credit, she was always super sweet to me but we just didn’t have the chemistry. I appreciated the effort though, got to know her better, and it did make me feel more comfortable around her.
About nine months ago Bailey got engaged. Getting engaged/married has been a sore spot for Jake and I – I really thought we should be at that point, he didn’t “want to mess with a good thing.” Bailey had only been dating her boyfriend for 10 or 11 months so I pointed that out to him. I genuinely thought he took it to heart because less than two months later he proposed.
I was over the moon! That is, until I overheard Jake Skyping with his brother. Jake was telling him he planned on asking Bailey to be one of his “groomsmen” and his brother jokes that that was one way to get her to the altar with him. Jake said, “sh!t, I know” in a really sad way and went on about how lucky her fiancé is, and basically that he ruined getting married for everyone else and that he (Jake) could at least quit pining and settle down now that Bailey was “out of play.” “The dream is over, man” were his exact words.
I’m crushed. Jake has always insisted they’re just friends. But now I feel like he only chose me because the girl he really wanted didn’t want him back.
What would you advise her to do? Break-up? Talk to him? Give the marriage a go? Let us know on our Facebook page.