You don’t need us to tell you that life was simpler as a kid.
For the sake of this, let’s forget about how you were scared of the monster under your bed until you were 13, the well-known scientifically unproven fact that if you went right around on a swing you’d turn inside out and the accurate observation that dibber dobbers wear nappies.
You might not be able to make life as simple as it was back in the day, but you can reminisce on the good times with Drumstick’s new Aussie Milk Bar Flavours that’ll take you back! Take a look.
We’ve compared life then and now. We know what we’d prefer. (It’s then and defs not now.)
Fashion was simpler
Now: “Do these shoes compliment my bag, dress and skin tone?”
Then: “Today I’m a fairy dressed as Spiderman and I don’t care what you think.”
Choosing a TV show was simpler
Now: “I want to watch a show that'll make me think, laugh and contemplate life. I’ll watch ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’.”
Also, for some reason you need to explain to people why you’re watching 'Teletubbies'.
Then: “I’ll have an entrée of ‘Johnson and Friends’. For the mains some ‘Round the Twist’. Then for dessert “Fresh Prince”.
Shopping was simpler
Now: “I can’t afford this dress AND food so I’ll put the dress on credit and buy food when I’m paid in 2 weeks.”
Then: “What can I buy with this manys?” *pulls 40c out of pocket* *leaves with whole shop*
Politics was simpler
Now: “I have no idea who I should vote for. I don’t understand economic policies and free trade agreements. I like his moustache."
Then: “Wow! She can hang upside down on the monkey bars for 10 minutes! I like her.”
Picking up was simpler
Now: You finally build up the courage to actually walk over to the hottie. You then walk away unsure you asked them out or ordered a large vegetarian pizza with ham.
Also, how tedious is swiping?
Then: BFF to cutie: “Will you go out with my friend.”
Cutie: “Yeah ok.”
Done. Now you're dating.
Breaking up was also simpler
Now: You have to organise a brunch date that’s not too close to their birthday, but not too close to Christmas, but after your birthday so you still get a gift. Then you have to find the right words to break up... And the best you’ve got are some Bieber lyrics.
Then: BBF to soon-to-be-ex: “my friend is breaking up with you.”
Like ripping off a band-aid.
Revenge was simpler
Now: “What’s the worst I can do that isn’t illegal?”
Then: “If I make up a story and cry, they’ll get in trouble.”
Dealing with homework was simpler
Now: “I need to get the presentation done tonight in time for the meeting at 7am or I'll be fired. P.S my boss is a jerk.” *Googles how to fake own death*
Then: “I didn’t do it because a queen came to me in a dream and said that she didn’t become queen by doing homework. So I didn’t do it. Also, my dog ate it.”
Real estate was simpler
Now: “I’ll never own a house with the $3.75 in my bank account :(”
Then: “I turned this box into a house. And a shop. Sometimes it’s a spaceship and sometimes it turns me into a cat.”
Making decisions were simpler:
Now: You write a pros and cons list, ask a friend, ask your mum, overthink for 3 weeks and make the wrong decision anyway.
Then: Write yes/no on an eraser, throw it in the air and see what it lands on.
Summer was simpler
Now: You’ve gotta shave your legs, get a fake tan, apply sunscreen, buy the latest swimwear etc. Then you realise it's hot and have a nap.
Then: You would slip, slop and slap and somehow still get burnt.